Now I'm famous

This was from Question Period today in the legislature. The debate was focusing on immigration and demographics and it turns out maman and I made quite an impression yesterday.

 

Mr. S. Graham

: My question to the minister is this. I have just given you five concrete initiatives. Would your government be willing to entertain them?

Hon. D. Graham

: I will inform the Leader of the Opposition that we are working very hard to send him home, so he may have some extra time there too. Certainly, regarding the initiatives that the Leader of the Opposition has announced today, we are very open to that. I made mention that we are working with all stakeholders. We will certainly look at all the information. If the Leader of the Opposition wants to provide that to the minister responsible , by all means. We are certainly working with the New Brunswick Business Council and with different sectors. I can assure the Leader of the Opposition that we will do that. We are very open . I also commend one of the media staff here on helping us to build New Brunswick.

Mr. S. Graham: I, too, would like to congratulate the Kaufield family this morning on the birth of the new baby yesterday. I understand that in Saint John yesterday, Kathy Kaufield did, indeed, give birth to her second child, which is very encouraging. Oh, and Dan McHardie as well, since we are in a friendly mood today.

 

Papa would like to point out the deputy premier was referring to him all along but the leader of the opposition only realized that once he started getting heckled. Papa would also like to point out, this is not the way he typically likes getting into Question Period. Oh and I'd like to congratulate Jaime and her parents on their new family member.

Turn to Channel 70!

Maman on is television! Now if only the nice lady in green could move out of the way and the camera could pan a bit to the right, we could see her even better! Hello maman...

Somebody has to fix things around here

There is a common misconception around this house and that is I'm just a little baby that needs to be taken care of at all hours of the day. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Have you ever seen papa assemble any massive projects? Have you ever seen maman take the dog for a run? Negative. But I am an integral part in both those tasks. Without me, who know how this house would function.

For instance, this weekend, I had no choice but to intervene when maman was trying to take apart my picnic table so it could be cleaned. It hurt her fragile ego when I had to pick up the screwdriver and bail her out. But at least, for her sake, it wasn't papa taking over. She may never recover from such a setback. But I love maman even when I have to arm myself with tools, now how can I get access to those power tools?

Energy rates are going up?

I've been reading over papa's shoulder as he writes his stories lately and apparently energy rates are going up in New Brunswick. I want to point out that I have a completely unregulated amount of energy. I think I should be able to market my powers, although I'm not sure I want to go through the long and arduous process to sort out any exit fees. But perhaps I could still sell my excess energy onto the existing grid, papa always says nobody else can light up a room like I can with my electric smile. I'm not making that up, he actually says that. I know, he's a tad strange but I love him nonetheless.

So with all this discussion of energy regulation, it's only appropriate that I get to start charging my own rates. I'm not going to embark on any silly rate caps either, anyone wishing to tap into my boundless energy reserves is going to pay dearly. And forget any declining block rates, those who use the most energy will pay the most. All proceeds will go to my education account.

Playing with Play-Doh

Where has this weird, somewhat disturbing material been all my life!? Not only can it be bent, stretched, pulled, compressed, mushed and flattened, it can also be eaten by dogs and babies. It must be said, however, maman and papa have tried to kibosh that activity, much to the chagrin of Belle and I. The action all started about a week ago as we were walking through Toys-R-Us and we stopped in the middle of an aisle as maman appeared like she wanted something.

She picked up a box, examined it thoroughly. This act, is not in and of itself, entirely abnormal. A few seconds passed and it was placed back on the shelf and sighed. Folding her hands across her body, she stepped away from the boxes. At this point, I'm growing interested, however papa just pulled a new toy off the shelf and started waving it in my face, so I'm growing rather distracted. As I'm off jumping in the plush toys, maman walked back to the aisle and said something to papa. Showing me the box, she was saying something incoherent to me. I smiled nonetheless, doing this reassures her that she is not entirely nuts. That, however, is not always true.

When we arrived home, I was busy playing in the cupboards and on the vacuum, because that is what you do when you're a baby. Within a few minutes, maman sat down beside me on the floor with the bright box that she purchased at the toy store. At this point, I was still completely in the dark regarding the joy that was about to envelope my world. Then she pulled it out. A big hunk of pre-shaped, blue, non-toxic Play-Doh. Oh my word, this is exciting. I grab it. Mush it in my hands. Try to eat it, wait, maman is taking it out of my mouth. Drat, foiled again. Belle tries to eat it. Maman tells her to leave it. Well, at least I am not alone. This odd smelling substance is now changing shapes, it can be stretched thin or smushed into a big ball. I'm now squealing with delight.

Whoever invented this, I hope is a very rich person right now. Belle and I had so much fun tearing the ball of blue into little itsy bitsy shards of dough. Tragically I'm rarely allowed to play with this new toy and supposedly I'm not allowed to play with it on furniture or anywhere that it could be rubbed into fabric. I'm going to break that rule. Mark my words.

Are you kidding me?

For all this time I've been playing with a Swiffer and maman and papa have been hiding the vacuum from me! This is far cooler than the silly little broom thingy. Not only will Belle, Gribouille and Toulouse run by the very sound of it, let alone the suction hose ending up on their fur, but it will also leave a red mark on my cheek if I leave it there long enough. Isn't that way cool? As I get older, the toys are getting bigger and far more complex. What will they think of next?

Helping out

Maman and papa have been so busy over the last few weeks that I've decided to take it upon myself and start helping out around the house. For instance, Swiffering, who knew that it could be so much fun. The dog and the cats run away from you when you start chasing them with the Swiffer. It's pretty funny. Not to mention, it's pretty cool that everything I like to put in my mouth that maman and papa object to gets picked up on the bottom of the little unit and I can have easy access to it.