Harassing Heffalumps: A Thanksgiving Day Tale

One thing that maman and papa always stress upon Izzie and I is that there is a lot we must be thankful for in our lives. This Thanksgiving Day was even more special because we were spending it in Bouctouche and we were able to combine our big dinner with parrain’s birthday. However, as you have come to expect there is always an adventure to be had when our family is involved.
Let me take you back just a few days and I’ll set the stage a bit. For reasons passing understanding, papa is on vacation and he was starting to get on our collective nerves a tad. A lightbulb went off in maman’s head, let’s mitigate papa’s annoyance factor by heading to Bouctouche and sharing him with the entire family. There is not a stopwatch created that could time how quickly I flew off my chair. “Eureka,” I exclaimed. Seldom does such genius displayed in our house that it mustn’t go unheralded.

Before any intra-provincial expedition could occur, it was crucial that we enjoyed our mid-afternoon snack. One can only guess were papa was at this point, but I had on his hat and was stealing his fries. Can you blame a kid? I didn’t think so, I believe Grandpa McCormick calls this, “You snooze, you lose.” Sadly, papa has grown accustomed to this treatment.

Finally, safe and secure in friendly little Bouctouche. What could possibly go wrong now? (Maestro, insert ominous sounding music) Little did I know, there was a Heffalump on the prowl!
“Not a Heffalump,” cried Izzie.
Yes dear a Heffalump, I calmly reassured her. It is times such as this that Izzie should be thankful that she has such a level-headed big sister. Scant few big sisters can stare down the ferocious, bottle-stealing, nap-interrupting, Belle-tail-pulling horror that is a Heffalump. Thankfully, I take this in stride. It’s like my calling in life. A Heffalump spotting could only mean one thing, it was after our turkey. Carrying the entire burden of our Thanksgiving dinner on my shoulders, I
knew what I had to do: take a splash of water, lean menacingly forward on my chair and order papa to hide the grandparents and small children. It was game time.

Heffalumps, as you are probably aware, are rare specimens. They only arrive when you least expect them and can ill-afford the wave of misfortune that sweeps behind them. Few people are brave enough to look one in the eye and tell them to back off. Again, I hate to pat myself on the back but I’m fully capable of taking on a horde of Heffalumps.
It seemed as if only minutes had ticked by when the hellish Heffalump appeared. Now don’t be fooled by its fuzzy exterior, fluffy tail, ticklish trunk and cute stuffed animal. There are people who have confronted these venomous beings and not lived to tell the tale, thankfully I’m not one of them. (I’m signing autographs later.)

The chilling experience of witnessing her first Heffalump sent Izzie into a tizzy. The poor thing was beside herself in fear. It was like ripping away a soother and doing a happy dance in front of her. Uncontrollable were those tears streaming down her cheeks. Once again, I sprang into action. What ensued was right from the playbook of defending little sisters from big purple stuffed animals. It was a sight to behold. In a blinding flash, I simultaneously suspended the Heffalump’s
evil powers and sent it down the road to some other unsuspecting family’s house. It worked. And not a moment too soon because Izzie needed some serious consoling.

As they say, victory is sweet and therefore it must be savoured with ice cream cake, that’s what I firmly believe. And not just a thinly sliced piece either. No. Defending the world from the prospects of total occupation from invading Heffalumps deserves two generous helpings with extra icing. So much icing in fact that it gets in your hair, all over the floor and you are teetering on intoxication by sugar. That is how you thank a Heffalump hero. For all their quirks, my family adequately rewards selfless heroism.

Now that Thanksgiving was saved, grand-papa, grand-maman and the rest of the family can savour the remainder of our vacation without the fear of further intrusion. We can be thankful for our health and that we are surrounded by people who love us. We have a beautiful new little sister in our family and in the coming months, we will have even more cousins to chase down Heffalumps with when the need arises. We can also be thankful for the joy that friendship brings. We are very blessed. It’s like a storybook, there is always a happy ending.